if you allowed.

you had asked me, “were you in love?”

I was unaware of what you wanted my answer to be. did you want to hear an awful truth or an endearing lie? so, I pulled out my journal and began to draw.

I marked the bottom of the paper with an X. “this is where I am, and always have been. I have never moved my entire life.” I made another X on the top of the paper. “and this is your home. I made your mark a little smaller, because I’m starting to believe my heart takes up more space than yours.”

you stared at me like you had something to say, but chose not to. I made a line across the horizon of the paper. “this is the line that you had imagined. it doesn’t exist, but you think it does. you allowed it to separate us.”

I flipped over the paper and started making a continuous line across my journal, following sheet-by-sheet. you decided to speak, “what are you doing?”

even in the distance from your house to mine, this is the amount I could have loved you.

“if only you had let me.”